I took up smoking when I was 19, on a road in Canada while hitch hiking with Lester. We were bored and bought a pack of Camels. (This was about 35 years ago). Then I struggled, off and on with the nicotine addiction. It’s not that it’s a disease, but some brain recpetors, or personality types are more prone to using the bad weed. Lester took a few puffs, got sick, and never, as far as I know, smoked again.
I took a few puffs, got sick, and maybe six months later at a college party picked up a cigarette and that as they say was that. A lifelong fight with the weed. (And curse Sir Walter Raliegh he was such a stupid nit, or is it get)…
It was an off and on relationship. Sometimes I could quit (cold pheasant) and go for years without having a desire for a cigarette. I took up jogging. I got into shape. I replaced one addiction with another. It really wasn’t that long ago that I could run 18 miles.
And that was pretty bad for my knees – which still hurt me in the morning.
So it was off and on. The common cause for starting again was something traumatic – and I had a lot of traumatic things in my life. The night my mother died, we were sitting around the kitchen table in the Bronx house on Putnam place, and I had such a strong urge for a smoke that I went downstairs to the Irish Deli across the street and bought a pack. I smoked two cigarettes on Gunhill Road – at night – in the shadow of a doorway – afraid the rest of the family would see me through the window.
And from there on, it was a few years of smoking before I could stop again.
What happened next. Oh yeah – the break-up with the live-in girlfriend. She wouldn’t tolerate smoking and so for another few years I cigarette free. But it was a bad breakup and soon I had another place on the west side, by myself. Lonely. A one room apartment with a window that looked out on a dark shaft. I was starting programming school at Columbia and the cigs came back into my life.
After that, it became sort of a joke at work at the ad agency since other smokers would ask me if I was still smoking – and if so would I like to go downstairs for a break.
The pattern was something like two years off, and two years on.
All of which is to say that the start of Fall is my favorite time to quit, since it helps my breathing when it gets cold. So I take the cigs. that were left from yesterday (very expensive in New York) — yes at least $10 a pack – and soak the few cigs that are left in the box in water so I’m not tempted to dig them out of the garbage pail later. And wait for the worst.
No – I don’t believe in patches and sprays and the gum thing – is just another way of keeping you addicted. I have never yet seen statsistics showing that people who use nicotine substitution continue to be clean for any length of time after they’ve been weened off the stuff. No – I’m a cold turkey type guy. The nicotine is out of your body in about three days. And for 2 weeks or so you will probably (if you’re like me) have trouble sleeping, and be a real pain in the ass to anyone around you. Believe me, I know what it’s like. What did Mark Twain say, quitting is easy. I’ve done it lots of times.
It’s true – quitting – though painful, is easy. What has always been hard is not starting again. So don’t mind me or whatever I write for the next few weeks because I may fly off the handle – verbally. Ciao for now. DB
I too have battled the ‘weed’ over the years, stopping and starting numerous times (I started again after quitting for 9 yrs at one point). I’ve since kicked the habit, I think for good, after developing severe bronchitis that left me unable to breathe especially during sleep. I do think though that you’re never really free of the temptation once you’ve been addicted. I still get the occasional urge particularly in a bar situation (which doesn’t happen much these days). All I can say is: take it one day at a time and try to short circuit behavior patterns and/or physical environs/situations that might lead you to start again. It’s way worth it health wise and in terms of overall well being.
Greg – I agree completely with what you say. I know that one cigarette, even after six years without a smoke – and I will go back to smoking within a few days. So I take it one day at a time, or try to. The first few days are very long indeed. On the other hand, liquor — I can take it or leave it. I was on a medication for a while (not on it now) that said not to drink, and I haven’t had a drink since that day – ten plus years ago – without any effort at all. But put a cigarette before me… sooner or later I’ll find my way to it.
Ah Dave. Smoking’s the bain of my frickin’ life. I’ve just given up…again, but this time is was with some serious drugs provided by my doctor. They worked by blocking the nicotine receptors in your head which is fine and dandy and worked well for me but some of the possible side effects are fairly scary. Thankfully I didn’t get any.
I’ve not smoked for about 6 weeks now and while that feels great I still miss it. As my doc says; “I love a ciggy, but it’s a young man’s sport”.
I’m glad I’ve given up. My wife’s stopped nagging me, my kids have stopped shoving health warnings under my nose and the Govt has just announced they’ll be jacking up the price to well over $15 a pack.
Good luck Dave – be thinking of you.
Phill
Yeah… mine too. I stopped on the 21st for the symbolic reason — I had been smoking for the last six months; and had been smoke free for about two years prior to that… but I know that I am wired to the stuff and the main thing is that I don’t smack anyone, esp. strangers in the street during the next day or so. By then I should be over the physical crap that goes on. After that – it’s just me and the drug fix.
Or as Mark Twain said: stopping is easy. I’ve done it a million times.