In his stump speech, Mitt took to singing America the Beautiful in a voice that was off-key. At first, I thought this was a strange thing, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Mitt was actually doing something in the vein of an Andy Warhol type of actor: bad. He was of the age to have seen the Andy Warhol movies, and he would have fit in perfectly.
Well, that was simmering in my head for a few weeks, when I was startled to see him reciting the theme song for Davey Crockett when he was in Tennessee. His recitation was a definite improvement over the poor singing and it touched me deeply because the Dave Crockett show with Fess Parker was my favorite show as a kid. I can’t remember a single thing about it except that he was able to kill a b’ar with his bear hands and wore a raccoon hat. What exactly he did exactly – as I say – I can’t remember but I’m onto the scheme now.
Mitt is planning on either reciting or singing a song, or maybe a poem, for each state where he needs to tip the balance.
He could sing Blue Hawaii for Hawaii. And My Miami (that’s an old one) but Randy Newman has a great song about Miami though it mentions cocaine.
And of course it’s too late now, but maybe during the general election when he gets to Oklahoma – he’s got the perfect song: Oklahoma.
Some states will be tough. North Dakota — there’s the Beatle song – somewhere in the hills of North Dakota lived a young man named Rocky Raccoon?
And I’ve already decided that if he comes to New York – which he probably won’t – but if he does and recites or sings either New York, New York; or East Side West Side; or just about any song about New York – I’ll vote for him.
But what I’m really hoping to do is follow him around and become part of his team – a close associate so that I can get him to believe in the song idea and come up with a song for every state. Then when it’s all finished, I’ll get him to sign the rights over to me by having the release hidden by a piece of paper so that he thinks he’s just giving me his signature and I’ll finally make my million bucks with… yes you guessed it…
THE BEST OF MITT (volume 1)
This song written by Irving Gordon and sung by Perry Como should become MItt’s theme:
Oh, what did Della wear boy,
What did Della wear?
What did Della wear boy,
What did Della wear?
She wore a bran’ new jersey,
She wore a bran’ new jersey,
She wore a bran’ new jersey,
That’s what she did wear.
One, two, three, four!
Oh, why did Calla ‘phone ya,
Why did Calla phone?
Why did Calla ‘phone ya,
Was she all alone?
She called to say how ar’ ya,
She called to say how ar’ ya,
She called to say how ar’ ya,
That’s why she did call.
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro! ( Spanish )
Oh, what did Mrs sip, boy,
What did Mrs sip?
What did Mrs sip, boy,
Through her pretty lips?
She sipped a mina-soda,
She sipped a mina-soda,
She sipped a mina-soda,
That’s what she did sip.
Un, deux, trois, quatre! ( French )
Oh, where as Ore gone, boy,
Where has Ore gone?
If you want, I’ll ask ‘er,
I’ll ask ‘er where she’s gone
She went to pay her taxes,
She went to pay her taxes,
She went to pay her taxes,
That’s where she has gone.
Eins, zwei, drei, vier! ( German )
Oh, how did Wiscon sin, boy,
She stole a new brass key,
Too bad that Arkan saw, boy,
And so did Tenne see?
It made poor Flora die, boy,
It made poor Flora die, you see,
She died in misery, boy,
She died in misery.
Oh, what did Della wear boy,
What did Della wear?
What did Della wear boy,
What did Della wear?
Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee,
Greenest land in the Land of the Free.
Raised in the woods til he knew every tree,
And kilt him a ‘bar, when he was only three.
Da-vy, Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier!
I remember almost all of the TV themes and commercial ditties of the late ’50s and early ’60s. It’s a curse, actually. Dave Barry calls it “brain sludge,” and wrote a hilarious article about it years ago, which you can find here: http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1996-03-10/features/1996070072_1_robin-hood-sludge-human-brain
Bonus brain-sludge question!!! – Dave Barry’s article at that link above has some lyrics from a TV show that ran in the late ’50s. There is a connection between that theme song and The Beatles. What is it?
Very funny article, Steve. I suffer from brain sludge, but in my case it’s not toxic since my memory is beginning to erode away wih age. Unfortunately, when your memory begins to deteriorate, you have no control over which parts of the gray matter wither away first. For example, I can still factor polynomials, which I learned to do nearly 50 years ago in the first year of high school math, but I can’t remember the names of my nieces and nephews.
When it comes to jingles and theme songs for TV shows, the sludge is particularly sticky, and stays with people into the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. Ths is a video and accompanying commentary I did a while back using the theme songs of the TV shows I grew up in the 50s:
http://amolizgeven.wordpress.com/2010/05/29/television-1950s/
It’s a heavy dose of brain sludge, like deep fried apple pie.