Twinges

Ah, the slings and arrows of something hit me the other night as I was falling asleep.  I hadn’t done much reading, what with all the order fulfilling; and I was in bed and picked up my Sony eBook (yes, I like it a lot still) and saw that I had downloaded the Bible – the second part – and put the e-book bible down on the bed, raised my head on my arm, and found myself re-reading the begats (I skipped most of that) and then onto what is really a very good story.

Or a very good allegory.  And the fellow arrives and does a bunch of miracles and so-on, and frankly, as an agnostic, there’s nothing more interesting than religion.  The old book.  The Koran.  The Indian tales.  The religion of the Sumatrans.  The lost gospels.  I’ve read them all.

And so, agnostic and all, I fell asleep in a peculiar position and somewhere during the night (this was two nights back) I pulled a muscle in my rib cage (so it hurts when I breathe) and at the same time, pinched a nerve in my neck so that it hurts to lean in the wrong position.

It really is pretty painful, and irritating as well.  But there is a lesson to be had, I think – and I have heard this before.  But reading, as a general rule, is just not very good for you.  It’s not healthy.  Whether you are in front of the computer reading this (we know what it will do to your wrists); or propped up in an armchair by a roaring fire, (I once had a book catch fire that way); I would advise you to be careful with your reading habits.

In this case, it’s absolutely clear that the G– who’s existence I doubt, decided to punish me with some physical pain for enjoying the stories as much as I did and still saying that I didn’t believe in H– existence.

It’s also clear, that besides the physical dangers of reading, it is simply not a good idea to read books that you’ve picked out on your own.  That is extremely dangerous.  I would advise joining a book club for the near 60 crowd – and letting them do the selecting for you.  Much less dangerous.

So I went to the medicine cabinet and found what I was looking for – a cream that has a picture of hell fire on the tube, and ice-cold winds.  Fire and Ice.  I’m pretty sure that’s how the world is supposed to end.

So I rubbed the cream on my shoulder and put a paper towel on it and fell back asleep and I have to say, I had the strangest dream.  Fires of hell were licking my bare body.  The claws of S—- were scratching at me.

And of course I woke up to find the cat sitting on the paper towel – now completely shredded.  And he had the Fire – Ice cream on his nose which was too strong for him and so before I could move, and I was still in pain – the cat had jumped from the bed and began speeding across the bare floors until he knocked over the garbage…  And so, in pain, with the fire in my chest when I breathed, I was down on my knees in the middle of the night picking up the remnants of the day.

And all because I had reached for the good ebook.

2 Comments

  1. Stephen Bray
    December 19, 2010

    The word you’re looking for is embrocation.
    There’s a brand in England called ‘Deep
    Heat’.

    I don’t know if this film ever found itself
    over to your side of the pond?

    http://youtu.be/TSHbSseRAqA

    Stephen

  2. Michael
    December 19, 2010

    Thank you, Master Dave, for venturing forth into the lands of the Agnostic and the Apostate on behalf of all us doubting but woolly ones too distracted by bright lights and sugary drinks to take up the pilgrimage ourselves.

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